Dressing Room

I was out on a solo shopping excursion the other day. While trying on some clothes in the dressing room, I listened to a woman in the room next to mine, who was with her three small children. She was trying on dresses for a wedding. Her kids were sitting on a bench just outside the dressing room and after changing she would open the door and ask her kids "What do you think about this one? Is it pretty? Do you think it looks nice enough for a wedding?" Her kids were giving her lots of compliments and advice, "Oh mama, you look so pretty!" "Oh yes, you are like a princess in that one!" "I like that one, Mama, but I want you to try on the butterfly one next because that's the one I picked out for you!"

Their exchange made me smile in my small square room. Although I'm at the point in my life where I get to shop quite often without children in tow, I realized in that moment how sometimes I miss having my little fashion critics with me; trying on clothes and having my own kids ohhhh, and ahhhh over each item of clothing, commenting on how beautiful I looked. My kids have always been my biggest fans, my loudest cheerleaders, and my greatest supporters. Trying on clothes has always made me feel vulnerable, especially if my task is to find a pair of jeans in a bigger size...depressing. But I remember outings when even though I was discouraged, my kids were In awe of me--yes Mom, that dress, you are prettier than ever in that one!

When kids are small they require a lot of time--time for snuggles, time for reading, time for cooking, cleaning, picking out new shoes and going to doctor's appointments. Work schedules and holidays revolve around them. And even though it seems like it's a never-ending balancing act, I realized it's so incredibly temporary, fleeting in fact. And though I still recall those stressful early years with three small children fighting for my constant attention, it's standing alone in a dressing room, unsure whether these jeans go well with this sweater, that I miss that era of my life. I need my kids just as surely as they need me. And that is what happens as time moves forward. I thought my kids needed me most, but I understand now that perhaps I needed them too and that I'll always need them. And one day, probably soon, I will need them more than they will need me. And I hope I will be OK with that. Because right now, in this second, I really need another opinion on these jeans...